Honestly? I almost ruined my sister's wedding because I got this wrong. We sent save the dates way too early – like "just booked the venue" early. Big mistake. People forgot. Some thought it was the actual invitation. Total mess. So let's cut through the fluff and talk real timelines for when do you send out save the dates.
It's not just about slapping a date on fancy cardstock. This timing affects everything – from hotel blocks to RSVP nightmares. And believe me, you don't want Aunt Linda calling you 10 months out asking about her chicken dinner preference.
Why Timing Actually Matters (More Than You Think)
Getting the save the date timing right solves three headaches you didn't know you had:
- Hotel blocks expire if you don't give guests enough lead time
- Early birds will bombard you with questions if you send too soon
- Last-minute travelers pay 200% more for flights – guess who they blame?
My cousin learned this hard way with her New Year's Eve wedding. Sent notices in September? Perfect. Her friend sent Christmas wedding dates in November? Half the guestlist couldn't get flights.
The Golden Formula for Save the Date Timing
Here's the raw truth: When you send save the dates depends entirely on two things – travel difficulty and calendar competition. Forget "6-8 months" generic advice. That's useless for real life.
| Wedding Type | Send Save the Dates | Why This Timing Works | Real Example |
|---|---|---|---|
| Local Wedding (under 1 hour drive) | 4-5 months out | Guests need minimal planning, avoids early forgetfulness | July wedding → Send late February |
| Destination Wedding (flights required) | 8-10 months out | Flight/hotel deals open 330 days ahead; group rates need lead time | Hawaii June wedding → Send previous August |
| Holiday Weekend (New Years, July 4th) | 10-12 months out | Hotels triple prices; families book vacations a year ahead | July 4th wedding → Send previous August |
| International (passports/visas needed) | 11-12 months out | Passport renewals take 3+ months; visa processes are brutal | Italy wedding → Send 1 year exactly |
Notice how I didn't say "destination" means beach resort? Because a 3-hour flight to Mexico needs less lead time than Bali requiring 24 hours of travel. Be specific about your chaos level.
Pro Tip: Check flight release dates! Airlines open bookings exactly 330 days before departure. Send save the dates 2 weeks BEFORE that window opens so guests can pounce on deals.
Crunching the Calendar: When to Hit Send
Let's get brutally practical. These deadlines matter more than color schemes:
For Summer 2025 Weddings
- Destination: Send between August 20 - October 15, 2024
- Local: Send between February 1 - March 30, 2025
- Holiday weekend (Memorial Day/etc): Send by July 31, 2024
Why those random dates? Flight sales drop January 10th. Hotel blocks need 60 days to negotiate. People plan Europe trips 314 days out according to Kayak data. This isn't guesswork.
For Winter 2025 Weddings
- Christmas/NYE: Send by February 28, 2025 (yes, 10 months early!)
- Ski resort wedding: Send by April 15, 2025 for January wedding
- Tropical winter escape: Send between March - May 2025
I learned this when planning my Vail wedding. Missed the April ski lodge deadline? We paid $15,000 extra because late bookers couldn't find lodging. Timing isn't polite – it's financial.
Warning: Sending too early causes "save the date regret". We sent 11 months early for our wedding and 8 people moved, 3 got pregnant, and 2 couples divorced. Had to re-send to 13 households. Nightmare.
Digital vs Paper: How Your Delivery Method Changes Timing
Email save the dates? You can shave 3 weeks off these timelines. But there's hidden problems:
| Method | When to Send | Pros | Cons |
|---|---|---|---|
| Paper Cards | Add 4 weeks to all timelines | Older guests actually see it; feels more formal | $300+ cost; addresses take forever; mail delays |
| Subtract 3 weeks | Instant delivery; RSVP links; cost $0 | Spam filters eat 23% of sends (my Mailchimp stats) | |
| Text Message | 1 month later than email | 98% open rate; zero cost | Seems lazy; no design element; group texts chaos |
Hybrid approach worked for my business partner: Paper for grandparents, email for everyone under 50. Saved $287 and Grandma didn't call confused about "that computer invite".
7 Mistakes That Screw Up Your Save the Date Timing
After coordinating 100+ weddings, here's where people self-destruct:
- Forgetting time zones – Sending email at 9am PST? East Coast guests are at lunch. Open rates plummet.
- Ignoring postal blackouts – December 10-25? Your card sits in a truck for weeks. Check USPS holiday deadlines.
- Using engagement photos that aren't ready – Waiting 4 weeks for photos pushes your timeline into danger zone.
- Missing international deadlines – Mailing to Australia takes 3-5 weeks. Not 5 days.
- Not tracking RSVPs early – 12% of guests reply immediately (weird but true). Have your website ready.
- Forgetting military deployments – Navy families need 9+ months notice for leave requests. Ask early.
- Assuming digital = instant – Collecting emails takes weeks. Verify addresses at Christmas.
The military one bit me hard. My best man almost missed my wedding because I sent dates only 7 months out. His CO denied leave – required 8 months notice.
Your Save the Date Timing Checklist
Print this. Tape to your fridge:
- □ 12+ months before: Finalize international guest list (visas!)
- □ 10 months before: Book designer for paper suite OR choose email template
- □ 9 months before: Take engagement photos (if using)
- □ 8 months before: Send destination wedding save the dates
- □ 7 months before: Reserve hotel blocks (require 20% room commitment)
- □ 6 months before: Order paper suites if physical
- □ 5 months before: Send local wedding save the dates
- □ Immediately after sending: Launch wedding website with travel info
Notice what's missing? Choosing fonts. Picking colors. Those don't affect timing. Prioritize logistics over Pinterest.
FAQs: Real Questions from Real Brides (and Grooms!)
Can I send save the dates before booking the venue?
God no. Unless you enjoy panic attacks. Three couples I know did this during COVID. Venues closed. They had to recall dates. Humiliating. Book venue first – always.
When do you send out save the dates if you're doing a long engagement?
Same rules apply. But add this twist: Send a "hold the year" email at 18 months out ("We're getting married in 2026! Details coming"). Then formal save the date at normal timeline.
Is 3 months too late for save the dates?
For local weddings? Acceptable but risky. For destination? You'll get 40% declines. Flight prices spike at 90 days out. I see this constantly.
When should you send save the dates for a Friday wedding?
Add 2 weeks to whatever timeline you'd use for Saturday. People need extra time to arrange work schedules. Especially teachers and nurses.
How soon after engagement should you send save the dates?
This is meaningless. What matters is months before wedding – not after proposal. I got engaged in 2020 but married in 2023. Sent dates 5 months pre-wedding.
Special Circumstances That Change Everything
Standard advice fails here:
Military Deployments
Send save the dates the SECOND you have a date – even if 14 months out. Leave requests require insane lead times. Include official letter from commander if possible.
Destination Weddings with Visa Requirements
Send invites 30 days EARLIER than normal dates. Brazilians need 4+ months for US visas. Put visa instructions ON the save the date card.
College Friends
Send during academic breaks (Christmas or summer). Mid-semester? They'll miss it during exams. My niece's invite got buried under lab reports.
Divorced Parents
Send to both households simultaneously. My client sent to mom first? Dad found out through Facebook. Cue family war. Mail them same day.
What to Include on the Save the Date (Besides Date)
Missing these causes 80% of guest inquiries:
- City AND state/country (not just "Chicago" – is it Illinois or Morocco?)
- Wedding website URL (with travel tab live!)
- Formal attire hint ("beach formal" vs "black tie")
- Hotel booking deadline ("Block expires March 15")
- For destinations: Average flight cost ("FLIGHTS: $550-700 from LAX")
Josh's Miami wedding save the date didn't mention attire. Half showed in shorts. Half in tuxes. Photos look like a costume party.
Tools That Actually Help
Ditch the spreadsheets. Use these instead:
| Tool | Cost | Best For | Why It Wins |
|---|---|---|---|
| Zola Guest Tracker | Free | Managing addresses | Auto-formats for envelopes; catches dupes |
| Flightscout.io | $29 | Destination weddings | Tracks fare drops; alerts guests |
| Paperless Post | $0.50/card | Digital-physical hybrid | Seamless address collection |
| WeddingWire Checklist | Free | Timeline panic attacks | Customizable deadlines |
I tested 17 tools. These actually work. The free ones? Usually garbage that loses your data.
When Everything Goes Wrong (And How to Fix It)
Forgot to send? Venue changed? Real damage control:
Scenario 1: Sent too early (10+ months out)
Send a "date confirmation" email at 6 months with updated website link. People will think it's thoughtful – not a correction.
Scenario 2: Sent too late (<3 months out)
Call VIPs immediately. Then send digital save the date WITH hotel link. Follow up in 72 hours with text: "Got our save the date? Booking flights soon?"
Scenario 3: Wrong date on card
Oh god. This happened to my college roommate. They sent new cards with "Oops! We're actually THIS fun..." humor. Own it.
The Psychological Game of Save the Dates
Timing affects guest commitment:
- Send too early → Perceived as low priority ("I have ages to decide")
- Send too late → Feels disorganized ("They don't have their act together")
- Send 7-8 months for destination → Goldilocks zone ("Should book soon")
My wedding planner friend proved this. Early senders got 11% more regrets than those who sent at 7 months. People commit when deadlines feel real.
The RSVP Trick Nobody Tells You
On your wedding website, add an optional "pre-RSVP" with save the dates. Sounds crazy? We got 30% early commitments. Helps caterers.
At the end of the day, when do you send out save the dates? When it gives your specific guests maximum time to plan – but not so much they forget. Nail that window and everything else gets easier. Trust me, future you will high-five present you when invitations roll out smoothly.