Man, I remember stumbling across Akira the Don's "If I Were the Devil" during one of those 3 AM YouTube rabbit holes. The algorithm just threw it at me after I'd been watching Jordan Peterson clips. At first, I wasn't sure what to make of it – rap beats mixed with philosophical speeches? But dang, it stuck with me. That was back in 2019, and today people keep searching for those Akira the Don If I Were the Devil lyrics like they're some kind of secret code.
Let me tell you why digging into these lyrics feels different. Most songs just wash over you, but this one grabs you by the collar. Maybe it's how Peterson's voice slices through that hypnotic beat. Maybe it's how uncomfortably accurate it feels these days. Either way, if you're here, you probably want the full picture – not just the words, but what they really mean and why this track blew up. That's exactly what we're unpacking today.
Breaking Down the Origin Story
Before we dive into the Akira the Don If I Were the Devil lyrics themselves, we gotta understand where this came from. See, Akira the Don (real name: J. Edward) isn't your typical musician. He's this British producer who pioneered "meaningwave" music – basically taking thought leaders' speeches and setting them to beats. Kinda like philosophical hip-hop.
The magic here started with Jordan Peterson. The Canadian psychologist gave a lecture where he adapted Paul Harvey's classic 1965 radio monologue "If I Were the Devil." Peterson modernized it, and Akira stumbled across it. He told in an interview how he chopped up the audio, built that haunting synth loop around it, and bam – viral sensation was born.
What's wild is how perfectly Peterson's cadence fits the rhythm. Listen closely – it's not just random splicing. Akira places emphasis on key phrases like "engulf the whole world in darkness" with these bass drops that give you chills. Clever stuff.
Full If I Were the Devil Lyrics Analysis
Okay, let's get to what you came for – those meaty Akira the Don If I Were the Devil lyrics. I've transcribed the whole thing after listening about 50 times (no joke, it became my gym soundtrack for months). Important note: These are based on the most popular version from the "Jordan Peterson Bites Vol. 1" album.
Complete Lyrics Breakdown
[Intro: Synth riff fades in]
[Verse 1: Jordan Peterson sample]
"If I were the Devil... If I were the Prince of Darkness
I'd want to engulf the whole world in darkness
I'd have a third of its real estate and four-fifths of its population
But I wouldn't be happy until I had the last innocent person's soul"
Right away, the tone's set. Not metaphorical – this is strategic conquest.
[Beat drops]
"I'd begin by attacking the individual
Undermine their faith in God
Make them cynical about everything
Make virtue seem outdated, make sin look normal
Make selfishness look like a virtue"
See how each line builds? It's a step-by-step corruption manual.
[Chorus: Synth swell]
"If I were the Devil, that's what I'd do"
[Verse 2]
"I'd target the family
Make divorce common and easy
Encourage alternative lifestyles just to confuse people
Make fathers irrelevant, make mothers too busy
Make children angry and unsupervised"
This part always makes me glance at my phone. Guilty.
[Bridge]
"I'd get control of the media
So I could manipulate thoughts and emotions
I'd eliminate anything that teaches boundaries or restraint
I'd promote addiction of all kinds"
The most uncomfortably accurate section in 2023.
[Outro: Beat fades]
"That's how I'd bring the world to ruin...
If I were the Devil"
Hearing this the first time, I thought it was clever shock value. But Peterson's delivery makes it feel less like preaching and more like... a warning label for society. What hits hardest isn't the religious angle – it's how precisely it diagnoses modern isolation. We're all swimming in that dopamine-driven chaos he describes.
Why These Lyrics Cut Deep
Let's get real – nobody cares about generic "evil" tropes. What makes these Akira the Don If I Were the Devil lyrics stick is their specificity. Peterson doesn't rant about abstract sins. He names tactics:
- Destroying family structures through busyness and confusion
- Replacing real connection with digital validation
- Making outrage more profitable than reason
- Turning pleasure into addiction mechanisms
Ever notice how social media algorithms reward your worst impulses? That's not coincidence – it's business. And this track holds up a mirror to it. My buddy Mark, who's not into philosophy at all, heard this at my place and just froze. "Damn," he said. "That's literally TikTok." Exactly.
Where to Legitimately Access the Track
Look, I get it – you want to hear this thing after reading those lyrics. But skip the sketchy lyric sites with malware pop-ups. Here's exactly where to get clean versions:
Platform | Format | Cost | Quality |
---|---|---|---|
Bandcamp (direct from Akira) | MP3/FLAC download | $1.50 (name your price) | Studio master (best option) |
YouTube Music | Streaming | Free with ads / $9.99 monthly | 256kbps AAC |
Spotify | Streaming | Free with ads / $9.99 monthly | 160kbps (low) to 320kbps (premium) |
Apple Music | Streaming/download | $10.99 monthly | 256kbps AAC |
Hot tip: Bandcamp lets you pay extra to support Akira directly. Worth it since he's independent.
Important note: Watch out for fake uploads on SoundCloud. There's one with 200k plays that cuts off the last minute. Annoying when you're deep in the vibe. The official version runs 4:18 – if it's shorter, skip it.
Frequently Asked Questions About the Lyrics
Did Jordan Peterson write these lyrics specifically for Akira?
Nah, not exactly. Peterson adapted an older script by radio host Paul Harvey. Akira discovered the lecture version on YouTube around 2017. In his Discord AMA last year, he mentioned editing it down from a 45-minute talk to fit the beat. Took him three weeks to get the pacing right.
Is there an official lyrics sheet from Akira the Don?
Weirdly, no. Despite tons of requests, he's never released official lyrics for any of his "meaningwave" tracks. Probably because they're sampled speeches. Every lyric site you see (including Genius) has user submissions. My transcription earlier? Cross-referenced four live performances.
What's the deal with the "four-fifths of its population" line?
That's straight from Harvey's original 1965 script! He was referencing Revelation's "a third of the stars" metaphor. Peterson kept it to show how ancient corruption tropes still apply. Heavy stuff.
Why isn't this song on mainstream radio?
Let's be real – a 4-minute philosophical speech over synths isn't exactly Taylor Swift territory. But it's huge in niche circles. The YouTube upload alone has 7 million views. Akira sells out small venues playing this live, especially in Europe.
Are there remixes or alternate versions?
Tons! My favorite is the "Purgatory Mix" with heavier bass. Found it on Akira's Patreon. There's also a piano-only version that highlights Peterson's voice differently. Worth tracking down if the original hits you.
Beyond the Lyrics: Cultural Impact
This isn't just some obscure track. The Akira the Don If I Were the Devil lyrics became a shorthand for discussing societal decay. You'll see:
- Reddit threads debating Peterson's points line-by-line
- TikTok clips using the audio over political memes (1.2M+ uses)
- Pastors quoting it in sermons about modern morality
- Even critics admitting the beat is hypnotic
My take? Its power comes from refusing to pick sides. Progressives hear criticism of consumerism. Conservatives hear warnings about tradition erosion. Everyone feels attacked – which means it's probably onto something.
But here's my criticism: Sometimes the doominess overwhelms the beat. I skip it when I'm already anxious. Wish Akira had balanced it with more musical variation midway.
If You Like This, Try These Tracks
Once you've digested those If I Were the Devil lyrics, check these related bangers:
Track | Album | Key Similarity | Vibe Rating |
---|---|---|---|
"Clean Your Room" (Peterson) | JP Bites Vol. 2 | Same speaker + heavier beats | 9/10 |
"Order & Chaos" (Peterson) | Same album | Companion philosophy | 8/10 |
"Slay Your Dragons" (Jocko) | Jocko Bites | Motivational military theme | 7/10 |
"Present Moment" (Alan Watts) | Wattswave I | Eastern philosophy + jazz | 9/10 |
Personal confession: I actually prefer the Alan Watts collabs for daily listening. Less intense than Peterson's warnings. But when I need that punch? Devil lyrics every time.
Why This Track Matters in 2023
Years after release, people keep dissecting these Akira the Don If I Were the Devil lyrics because they predicted our digital dissonance. That "promote addiction of all kinds" line? Social media engineers have admitted designing for dependency. Spooky.
But here's the hopeful angle Akira sneaks in: By naming the tricks, we can resist them. Recognizing the devil's playbook – whether literal or metaphorical – makes you less susceptible. That's why this song endures. It's not just analysis; it's armor.
Final thought? Listen with critical ears. Some call it reactionary fearmongering. Others hear vital truth. Wherever you land, those If I Were the Devil lyrics force you to question who's really pulling society's strings. And in an age of algorithms, that question might save your sanity.
Still thinking about that "make children angry and unsupervised" line? Yeah. Me too.